The long road

Description:

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
The long road
« on: May 01, 2018, 12:34:00 AM »

It started with a dream. Nyree couldn’t remember the dream, just the feeling. Understood it better now, that feeling. Recognized it for what it was. So she’d dragged the hairpin from her psychic cabinet and Emory Ardelia from her bed. Laid the Opal studded honeycomb between them and demanded he be found.

Enele.

And then she stole a horse.

Rode the poor beast at a neck break pace back the way she’d come at the beginning of winter. Snow melting now as spring unfurled around her. Opened her barriers and stretched as far as she could. Weaving Yellow and Tiger Eye together to whisper into the Darkness. A soft cry for help. For home. Not the Waoud, but where her real home lived. In the heart.

It was a long, dark ride through the Abyss that left her a shivering, spitting ball of overwrought queen. Nyree gripped the wall, the soft, velvety paper that decorated it absorbing the oils and dirt from her hand. She left a smudge behind when she let go, but it went unnoticed. At least by her. Hallway charged down, the doors toward the end beckoning her.

Nyree could have sworn she could smell him. Like sun and earth and metal. Wild things in this place that was too structured and too sleepy. Sick and sluggish. Begging her to open up or barriers and her veins. To wake what it did not possess. There were no dragons sleeping here, Nyree was sure. For once too focused on something else, someone else, to listen to the siren song of soil and roots.

Ignored the shouts and grasping fingers as she pulled one of the doors open, all but falling into the room. Too many psychic scents and bleeding barriers. Someone trying to stop her. A tray clattering to the floor. ”No! Mine!” Nyree snarling, a swift ankle catching the back of the healer’s knee before Nyree bore her to the ground and then slipped her grip. Scrambling into the curtain and nearly pulling it down and she yanked it aside.

”Enele,” she moaned, hands and knees making the bed dip as she tried to crawl into it. Into him. Hair wild and lips chapped. Clothes stained from travel and stinking of horse and sweat.

Home.

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2018, 01:20:57 AM »
Everything was an agony laced blur. When his eyes finally opened on purpose Enele was in Walcourt. An unfamiliar prince receiving the blunt end of his confusion and temper. Wrist snapping under his crushing grip before the warlord prince realized he was not in danger. Only having his temperature monitored. A slew of curses from them both as the healer prince set his craft on his own arm.

They could tell him nothing. Nothing, at least, that he wanted to know! What had happened in Mira? Why was he so... anxious? He could feel it. An itch to run. There was somewhere he was supposed to remember he needed to be. All the healers knew were the things wrong with his body. Skin torn down his back, shoulder joint torn from the socket, skull cracked, Opal drained to the point of danger. All mended and slowly recovering.

A whole week had passed he was terrified to hear. Demanded a Black Widow but fell asleep again before she could arrive. Forgot why he needed her when he woke again the next day. So dizzy his vision blurred but he was determined to sit up anyway. They warned he was pushing himself too quickly. Enele could not care less. He hated being useless. Confined to a bed! Not quite sure...

Who he was. Why he was.

Then they took his Opal away. Caught him putting it on too many times. Trying to shift energy from his more sturdy Rose into the fragile casing. Drained so that he wouldn’t be tempted to use it. Threatened to take his Rose too if he didn’t stop trying to use that one. His poor Opal was empty and aching though! Even across the room in a locked box he could feel it screaming out at him. Its absence and emptiness mirrored in the stinking sterility of the sick ward. And his aching empty spirit too.

On the third day he sat up long enough to make a list of things he was sure of. Like his name, and that he had a nephew. Where his meetings with the cultists had been held. Nyree.

Her name bubbled around in his chest while he tried to sort the rush of emotions it brought on. Of course he knew her, knew what had passed between them but he felt a gaping sense of confusion for where they stood now. He was so sure she was there, when he was hurt. Or afterwards maybe... He wanted very much to check the house. There was no leaving the infirmary yet though. And he didn’t have a way to probe the house.

Frustrating mounting he looked at his sad list. Scribbled through her name then wrote it again. Added kept the hairpin beside it.

Looked up at the sudden disturbance in the room. Eye widening and pencil falling away as his curtain was half torn from it’s rings. ”Bee!” The scattered pieces of his wholeness tightened up. Knees drawn aside to make room as she fell into his bed. ”What? I... You shouldn’t be here!” He bristled, paper and pencil spilling to the floor as he abandoned them to grip her instead. Pull her closer, breath in the smell of her. Make his body a shield and barrier in this dangerous place. A thousand feelings all at once. Glad she was there! Afraid for her to be. Lacking understanding for why she would come at all, or a reason to send her home. So he spewed out the first thing that came to mind. ”This is not a safe place for Waoud queens!” Not Little Terrielle where her bare feet wouldn’t find any proper grass to sink into.

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2018, 09:29:14 AM »

She filled the space he made for her. Eyes searching him from the blanket topped toes to the too long hair that crowned his hair. His bristling sweeping down her own body like a caress. Half laughing, half sobbing fell into his arms.

Hands and probes checking him as well. Probes racing down all the places she couldn’t see or reach. Hands smoothing over his chest and shoulders. Part way down his back and then up his neck, into the hair the curled close to his skull. Feeling the differences. The same, but different. So close, tucked tight against his chest.

”Why not?” She challenged, threading her fingers through his curls. Why hadn’t they cut his hair? Grey tipped swirl caught between thumb and finger, Nyree finally looked away from his face to eye his hair. She hadn’t realized just how much color he’d lost. Wondered if their was more now since their parting, or was it simply the length. Looked back at him, blue eyes watching her, too many emotions for Nyree to sort through.

She touched his cheek. Fingertips resting beneath the bone of his cheek.

”Apparently its not a safe place for Waoud warlord princes either.” Nyree wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his. Enele. ”Did you think I wouldn’t come for you?” Where else was she supposed to be? Especially when he was hurt! It frightened her to see him in a place like this, confined to a bed, his Opal no where in sight.

Footfalls in the hallway. The doorway. The room. Guards and healers alike crowding in. Nyree cupped a hand over his ear, to shield it from her lips. Sat up as best she could in her arms and turned hard eyes on the bodies pressing in. Her Tiger Eye swamping the room in warning. She had learned, not quite enough, but enough. If nothing else, how to pretend she had more craft than she did.

”Out!” She barked. Privacy! Hers! Chased them out with annoyed threads of Yellow. Felt a shield rise up around the room as turned back to Enele, loosing his ear. Her Enele. Nyree would not share him, not anymore. Never again. Kissed him, too hard, teeth bruising her lips. Inhaling him. He’d promised, and she meant to hold him to it. ”I’m sorry I sent you away,” she whispered against his lips. Metallic tang over lying the taste of him.

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2018, 05:52:14 PM »
For a heart-stopping millisecond Enele was frozen. Staring at her with eyebrows high as she made her strange sound. Head filling up with doubts. Was she still angry? What she was crying for?! Was it his fussing? She rolled into his body though. That was permission enough for him.

Good arm wrapping tight around her waist Enele tried to hoist her closer. Grunting at the pull of unwilling muscle across his back. ‘Not yet’ his body protested. Leaving him frustrated. Wiggling over instead until he could tuck his chin down over the crown of her head. Regretted it almost at once. Those warm little greedy fingers running over sore places. Probes washing over everything else.

Enele was determined to grin and bare it but the tug of curls catching around her fingers brought on a hollow hiss. ”Carefully.” A wince he couldn’t stifle raking through him. A shot of panic up his chest reminding him that he still had no idea where they stood. Even if she had come all this way... From where ever she had been. So he added softly, ”Please.”

He did not like her seeing him this way! Hated it more than the actual pain. His own hands flexed. One on her shoulder, one in his lap. Itching to roam over her in return. Probes would have to do until his body was less tense and sore. A weary Rose tendril that tested her for physical hurts. Sure that the healers would descend on them if he used anything strong enough to test her barriers.

Those frustrations were set aside to give a huffy reply, ”It’s especially not safe for queens here! I just... made a mistake.” Left to have a web made so he could find out where Nyree had gone. His mouth opened to fuss and question. Then closed again. Remembering that fussing had not made her any safer last time. His worrying had made them fight. Made her leave the security of her homeland to be rid of him! Before he could decide if it was worth the risk she asked another question.

One that left him gaping like an idiot. ”I... I didn’t think you would be in any hurry.” Enele admitted. Voice working around a lump in his chest. A strange emotion that refused to be shoved down. The less tangibles parts of Enele as raw as the rest. Heaving a sigh he buried his nose in her hair instead. Enjoying the smell of live that lingered there. Fresh air on the ends and the earthy musk of Nyree at the roots. Potent because he had been away from it for so long.

”Nyree...” He tried to sooth, voice gritty with emotion. Holding tight as she struggled to rise up. Stay! Let them watch, he didn’t care. They weren’t worth the attention. They scattered at her warning, though. Leaving them again. Heart fluttering wildly in his chest, breaking up the hard knot of emotion until it clogged his throat. Too many feelings at once! He broke off their kiss to look at her face. Search her eyes. His own hot behind their sockets.

Why was she sorry now? She wasn’t sorry when she said it. Not that he thought she should have been then or now. He deserved to get kicked like a dog. He had gone too far, gotten too comfortable in a situation he wasn’t suited for. And that hurt worse than feeling like his arm had been torn off. He was... afraid. Ashamed to admit it, ashamed to even feel it. So he changed the topic, ”Where were you? Tama wrote, he said everyone had left him.”

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2018, 07:20:17 PM »

”Sorry! Sorry!” Horrified that she might have hurt him. Had hurt him, the pain of it running through his body. Gentled her hands, body going almost limp against his before she remembered not to lean into him either. ”Sorry,” she whispered. Sitting still beneath his probes, none of which tried to gain entry beyond her barriers.

Scolded. Nyree smiled, ducking her face away. Not much of a lecture, but familiar enough to make her heart ache. No one had given her a proper scolding in quite some time. She was surprised to discover she’d missed it. Being told the ways she was reckless and in danger. Not wrong or bad. Shook her head at his an excuse.

”Some mistake.” Peek at him from beneath her lashes. Had never known him to be hurt. She wanted to check him again. To see and be sure that he wasn’t hurt too bad, especially with the way his other hand lingered in his lap. Caught between their bodies, listless and uninterested in helping hold her closer. Distant, like his probes.

”Oh.” Maybe he had good reason. Words that broke her heart. Reminding her that she’d sent him away. Too broken to be good. Living now with the consequences of her action. It had been easy to imagine whatever she liked while in Dena Nehele. Usually too tired to dream and too busy to fret. She hadn’t thought... chewed her lip, shoulder hunched as he pulled away from her embrace after trying to keep her from fussing at the healers.

Ignored her apology.

Nyree sat back, folded her legs and put her hands in her lap. Found it hard to meet his eyes. Unsure what the look on his face meant. Guilt nagging at her. Worry hounding her. He was alive though. That was what mattered. He was alive. Enele. Maybe some things couldn’t be forgiven.

”Terreille.” Nyree admitted, knowing he wouldn’t like it either way. They were bound, the two of them. They didn’t have to he lovers, or even near each other. The worry would always be there. And Enele had always been preoccupied for her safety. Always she’d assumed it was just Enele and his caste, then thought maybe it was guilt because he’d broken the damn.

Now she knew it was probably a combination of those things. And because he was hers. No idea how she hadn’t realized it before. Maybe because he’d never wanted leashed. Nyree blushed. She couldn’t tell him. He would just he upset.

”They needed queens, in Dena Nehele, to help train... other queens.” Slow spoken, words tripped over. Licked her lips and kept on. ”So I went.” Of course. ”Io followed me.” Annoyance still roused at the memory. ”I’m sorry about Tama.” More guilt because she’d completely forgotten about Tama. Brushed her hair from her face in quick, agitated swipes.

”Are you okay, Enele? Should I let a healer in?” Should she go? Did she have to? So determined not to share but he’d wanted to go, before. Always leaving for work. Maybe she would have to share. She’d promised him no leashes. Maybe that meant sharing. With... with.

Nyree would speak with her later.

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2018, 11:08:47 PM »
”So many,” Enele said reflexively. It was true. A million small mistakes that had added up in the end. Put him in this position. Full of uncertainties. Hurting the person he least wanted to hurt. Making a dozen years of suffering worthless. ”Too many.”

There was no taking it back now.

A glance down showed him the round curve of her cheek. Glittering brown eyes peeping through the veil of dark lashes. Lip disappearing between her teeth. That was a familiar expression. Her insecure uncertainties. Enele liked that least of all. Better his feelings than hers, he didn’t know where to start though.

How to mend what was damaged between them. Too worried one wrong word would sever it forever. He would quietly go back to his previous place. Wanting her from a distance; where they were both safe from his stupid mouth. Anything. Whatever she would accept.

Somehow he had aggravated the distance between them. Made her feel unwelcome with his admission. With a sigh he braced himself on his good arm. Thumb of his other hand drawing circles on the pads of his fingertips. Bracing himself internally too. For the rest of this... visit? He didn’t know. Didn’t want to ask.

”Terreille?” He choked on the word. Even he rarely slipped to the other realm! It was worse than the dagger blade that had struck home in the joint of his shoulder. ”That far, huh?” Sucking his bottom lip he listened to the rest of her explanation. Doing his best not to interrupt. Biting his tongue as her cheeks went crimson. Dying to know what was on her mind. What she was thinking.

”Dena Nehele. Of all the backwater territories.” He grumbled under his breath. Of course! Of course she’d have gone to a rough and recovering pit of a place. Put all those miles between them. Felt safer there with a Gray Jeweled warlord prince than at home.  ”I guess you did what you needed to do.”

It didn’t look much like it had helped. She was just as nervous as ever. ”Tama’s alright. He just didn’t know what was going on. Or how to find any of us.” Tomorrow he would write back. Unless Nyree would be on her way back by then...

He looked her over again. She was safe. Whatever he had seen in the web had passed. Maybe her concern had too. He still didn’t know why she had come. What her expectations were. Flinching at the thought he shook his head, ”No. No more healers. I’ve had enough for one day.” Sitting up a little straighter with a groan he absently toyed with his empty wrist. Guilt gnawing at him at the look on her face. ”Bee- you don’t have to stay.”

Shoulders hunching in he stared at his hands. ”I’m sure you’re ready to be home. And your brother is probably still going crazy.” A thousand reasons to leave him here. None he could think of for her to be here.

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2018, 12:03:21 AM »

Nyree wanted to fuss. Body leaning toward his as if she could crowd him into submission. Into happiness. Didn’t, since he was already hurting. Remembering the way his body had flinched in pain. Not too many. Though she wished she knew how to keep him from more so he didn’t end up hurt again. Wondered about the other times.

Later, she promised herself. She would fuss at him later. If there was a later. Both of them leaning away. Nyree sitting in the center of his bed. Enele leaning back on the same arm he’d held her with. No more holding now. All the desperate clinging over with. Now it was time for talking. Explaining what she’d done and where she’d gone.

Enele choking on the realm. Nyree nodded dumbly. It had been a good thing she’d done. She’d thought so, anyway. Before. The look on his face suggested otherwise. Nyree squirmed, fingers lacing together, twisting until the joints ached. ”They needed help.” She whispered. Somewhere that actually needed her. Had use for her craft. Made use of it. Of her. More than just for fun and pleasure.

Real, needful work.

”I learned a lot, too.” Nyree defended. It had been different there. The days had been wonderful. The nights awful. Heartsick and homesick. Too tired to dream most nights but never too tired to cry. ”It was nice there.” Though she’d been hungry a lot. Shed most of the extra layer that had hid the hard muscle beneath. Darker Jewels had needed more feeding than she, and she hadn’t want to impose.

Winter was a hard time for bees.

”I’m still sorry. Poor Tama.” Nyree hadn’t wanted found though. Not even sure she would return, ever. Yet somehow, still somehow, she’d always thought that seeing Enele again would be happier. Because try as she might, she hadn’t been able to imagine never seeing him again. Leaned in to fuss at his flinching. Did this time, pulling at the pillows of his bed so they were fluffed behind him. Frowning as he groaned.

Frowning more at his words. Scowl twisting her lips and eyebrows. Cut to the quick. Nyree kicked her legs off his bed and slid free of it. Rubbed the heels of her hands in the hollows of her collar bones. Breathed deep to steady herself. She’d sent him away. He’d gone. Nyree straightened her shoulders before facing him. Hated the way he looked in that bed. Too many stark colors around. Trays and empty brew bottles.

A sick bed.

It was terrifying.

”I don’t care.” She whined without meaning too. ”About Mooki. He’s grown, he’ll be fine.” Mostly fine. Hoped he was fine. Loved her brother dearly but Nyree needed a little bit longer. A little more time to be selfish. Frisson running down her spine and making her shiver in place. She’d sent him away. Maybe she had to invite him back. Be brave. Chase him a little farther.

She’d even share if she absolutely had to.

”I don’t want to go.” She told him, hands a defensive knot against her stomach. ”I didn’t come all this way just to go.” Was that a leash? Too much of a demand? She wasn’t sure. Nyree had been so afraid he would be dead. But he was alive. Alive and aloof. It was almost worst. ”You’ll have to make me,” she sniffed, overcome. Helpless against the scalding of her face. ”If you want me to leave, you’ll have to make me, Enele.”

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2018, 03:03:59 PM »
Nervous hands. Enele watched them wring one another. The softness of her words cutting through the room. Of course they had needed help. Who wouldn’t be glad to have Nyree? He couldn’t help reading between the lines. Filling the gapes between her words with more of his mistakes. He had needed her too! But he’d never said so. Not really. Not outright.

It was too late to apologize. So he didn’t. Just kept listening. Trying to keep his feelings off his face. Barriers carefully held up. He had practiced that plenty in the past few months. Was better at it, but sure that they would crumble for her. They always had. ”Like what?” He encouraged. What had she learned there that the Waoud couldn’t teach? Were the people nice, or the place?

Nicer than him?

Probably. He had never been very kind to Nyree, either. Especially when they last spoke. It still made him raw to think about. Ironic considering how often he had. There had been no adjusting or coming to terms with their fight. He was too good at stuffing those emotions down for later. He did it again now.

Ignored the parts that hurt too much.

Couldn’t ignore her climbing back out of the bed though. Lips twisting into a sardonic smile. It didn’t matter that she’d fluffed his pillows first. Didn’t matter that she was here now. She had sent him away and he didn’t know what they were anymore. Nothing had changed for him while they were apart! He would just hurt hurt her again. It was easier to just feel sorry for himself. Avoided her staring eyes in favor of the lines along his palms instead.

Stared at them while she made her declarations. Grappling with the returned lump in his chest. Swamped with emotion again. Rubbing his face Enele threw his arms up. Left hand falling flatly back in his lap while the right shrugged up into the air. ”Why did you? What do you think is different now?” He could feel it. The tightness in his chest. Heat behind his eyes and burning the tips of his ear. Too much! Too much to feel. To worry about. Tentative fingers reached up to rub the muscle that connected his sore shoulder to his neck.

”I didn’t mean to make you leave before, but you did. My going away wasn’t enough.” Now he was going to hurt her again, trying to make his point. It was an endless cycle that started with a misplaced step and never seemed to want to end. ”So why? Why come all this way when you couldn’t even look me in the eye the last time I saw you? I’m still the same person I was then.”

The same stupid man that had cut her with a single word. Mucked everything up just trying to help. What he wanted didn’t matter. ”It’s not that I want you to leave.” He told her, turning back down to the whorls of his fingertips. ”It’s just better if you do. It wasn’t worth you making the effort.” He. He was not worth her coming so far, taking all that risk... As if being the reason she had done it the first time wasn’t bad enough. ”I’m glad you went to Dena Nehele and learned and taught and had a nice time. None of that happened here. You won’t find anything that wasn’t already in me.”

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2018, 04:10:10 PM »

"Craft things, mostly." Nyree mumbled. How to be alone. To be better. But she didn't know how to tell him these things. The words to vocalize the knowledge. She'd walked, outside, in the dark. Slept alone in a room. Small things that children everywhere did, but Nyree never had, not really. Too afraid. Crippled by her fears until she hadn't been much more than them.

Just a girl afraid of the dark, pretending to be a whole woman. A capable woman.

Watching him not watching her. More interested in the branching creases along his palms. Keeping her on the outside. Away. Nyree bit her lip, wondered if she'd been wrong. Maybe he couldn't forgive her, even if she had come back. But he'd forgiven her before! Had he run out of forgiveness? Had Nyree finally pushed him beyond his limits of endurance or understanding or love? He'd said he loved her.

Maybe love didn't last forever either.

Tensed at the way his arm refused to rise. Limp hand barely leaving his lap. It made her grab and pinch herself. Hands abused by her own fingers. Worried that he hurt and needed a healer. Rubbing tender flesh at his shoulder. Nyree couldn't breathe, not the way she needed to. Ragged and unsteady. Too close to tears. She didn't want to cry. Just like she didn't want to leave. He didn't like crying.

"I'm different." Nyree admitted. His words hurt. Didn't he know? How could he not? Nyree crept a little closer to his bed. Annoyed at the way her boots sounded on the floor. Not quiet enough, he'd hear her coming even without looking. Hesitated, rubbed the hurt from beneath her eyes. "I wasn't waiting for you to change, Enele." She loved him just the way he was. But, but. It sounded like he didn't love her, not anymore.

"I came because I knew you were hurt," Nyree's eyebrows wrinkled. Maybe it was possible. There was no window to look out. Maybe it was night and Enele was going to leave her too. Really leave her. Agony caught in her throat as she knelt beside his bed, pressed her face against the mattress near his thigh.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She'd been off making friends and learning craft while he had been, Nyree didn't even know! Of course he couldn't forgive her. "You hurt me so bad, Enele, but you weren't wrong." He'd been right, so very, very right. She was broken, and she did need fixing. "I'm sorry I sent you away. I was hurt and angry." She could have made him happier just by writing. So everyone would know she was alive and well. She would have never known if he was okay.

But maybe she didn't have that right anymore.

"I'm sorry I came back. I was just so frightened for you." Not really sorry she'd come at all. Just sorry he was so... so... oh it hurt whatever it was. "There's still nothing in you I don't love." Nyree told him. Loved him even when she'd hated him. Even when he told her he didn't want her to go but that she should. Pushing her away. "That's why I came back. Because I love you, and I thought... well. I thought you might need me." But he didn't.

She had promised them both that she wouldn't hold on. For only as long as Enele had wanted it. But then she'd pushed him away and now she was clinging. Just like she'd promised not to give into his rut and had anyway.

She just had to practice letting go. And stop making promises she couldn't keep.

"Do you know where your brews are, for the pain? I'll get them and then..." She'd go. Let go, like she'd promised. It was okay if it killed her. Nyree knew now that there were worse things than nothing.

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2018, 02:18:23 AM »
Enele groaned again, head tilting at the watery eyed gaze Nyree tried to suck up. Dammit! He couldn’t stand it. Chest heaving in time to Nyree’s like some teat sucking ankle-biter! ”Aw, Bee...” He didn’t know what to say. How to help. To make it better when everything felt so utterly wrong.

Scooting away from his fluffed pillows and to the edge of the bed he reached for her with his strong arm. Didn’t trust his head to cooperate for standing yet. It already throbbed at him in complaint. Making his nerve sick stomach clench with something a bit more violent. She came a little closer but not close enough. Enele pinched the bridge of his nose. Not soothed in the least by her words.

Didn’t want her to be different. To be changed. The one sure thing in his life... for as long as he could remember. That was Nyree. At the center of all the things he did, in one way or another. The reason he left. The reason he worked hard and dangerous jobs far away.

The reason he always went home again.

He grunted, one long fingered hand tucked against his eyes. As if the light were too bright. Face sour. He had things to say! But they were trapped down under the hard ball of emotion in is chest. He couldn’t chance letting that out. So he swallowed instead. Wishing she could just know that this was still his fault. That there was no reason for her to be sorry that he had hurt feelings. They were his to deal with. If he opened his mouth, though, he would embarrass himself.

Bad enough she had to see him beaten, bruised and bedridden. He wasn’t going to add bawling to the list. So Enele listened. Grappling with the chest lump and the head bump. Slipping the hand attached to his sore shoulder over her head when she burrowed face first into the mattress. Barely managing to stifle a deeper groan, the sound of a deeper hurt, as she rambled on.

”Stop.” The word was too weak to rise above hers. Pain shooting through parts no healer’s brew could ease or mend. It was not long ago he was the one kneeling beside a bed. For the second time even. Having cut her spirit. Made her feel broken with poor choice in words. This was worse. Having her kneel to apologize for having feelings! Hearing that she believed what she thought he was saying!

That she was sorry for coming back.

Teeth baring in a gritty whine Enele shook his head. Eyes covered by the palm of his hand as if that could disguise the thickness in his voice or the dampness in his lashes. He had to stop her though. Stop, stop, stop. Too much! Not enough. Too many feelings and not enough ways to say them. ”It doesn’t matter, Bee.”

He gripped at his face tighter, bowing over his knees. ”Need or not- I want you. I’ve always loved you and wanted you. I’ve never once thought there was anything wrong with you, either. I knew it wasn’t enough, though. That loving you didn’t make you safe from me. I fought with that for a long time and then I gave in; now look at what happened.” Not this, he didn’t care that his body was hurt. That was the nature of his work. ”I hurt you so badly you had to leave the place you love best. The place you’re safest. Hurt you when I was just trying to be good to you!”

Voice stronger he blinked away the extra wetness from his eyes. Took a breath and managed to look over at her. ”I missed you so much, though. Everyday. Until I couldn’t stand it anymore...” His head hurt. But he didn’t know where any of the brews were. Only knew where they had put his bracelet. ”I don’t want anything. I don’t want to go to sleep.”

If he did she would leave. He’d opened his big mouth again. She would run off to who knew where. Nice places with nice people that could teach her things, maybe. ”I don’t know what to say Nyree. I love you. I love you too much to be the reason you hurt, or go off and hurt yourself. But I'm a fucking selfish shit and I don't want to be without you either.”

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2018, 11:15:53 AM »

Nyree shivered under his touch, arms wrapping around her head, hands sliding over his. As if she could hold him there, near her. Touching. And hide at the same time behind the wall of her arms. Pressed her face deeper into the mattress. Sheets smelling like Enele and over-careful washing. But the distress was still in the fibers. Buried so deep she hadn’t noticed until she had her face in them.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. The words repeated with every beat of her heart. Rushing in her ears like the sound of her blood. Voice rough, body bowing near hers. She felt him coming closer. His nearness making her skin throb. Nyree came closer too, just a little closer before he sent her away.

Hands working their way around his leg. One under and one over. Forehead bumping against his thigh as he talked. Body shaking as she smothered her sobs in the bed. Words thick and half muffled. He still loved her. Nyree held on as tight as she could. Shook her head because it still sounded like a good bye. He hadn’t been wrong! He hadn’t been wrong at all.

”Oh Enele,” Nyree whispered against his thigh. Shifted her cheek against it so she could look up at him. Found him looking back. Eyes red and wet like her own. ”Its alright,” she promised, like she always promised. And it was. Even when it hurt it was alright. Let go of his thigh to touch his face. ”I’m alright.” Wiped a tear from his cheek with her thumb. Hers. ”I missed you too.” Every damned day.

She came closer. Slow and careful. Mindful of his hurts, or that he might startle or fight her. Crept back into his bed, over his knees. Hands petting his neck and face, careful not to tug his hair again. Or press any tender spots. But she needed him to look at her. Straddled his thighs and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

”Don’t you know, Enele? You’re the place I love best.” The person, too. Nyree loved the land, and felt whole when she worked with it. But with Enele it was different. There was a joy that had so little to do with herself. It was hers, but separate. ”Here.” Settled against him, pressing him back toward the pillows so there would he less strain on his body. Her poor Enele. Drew his hand to her cheek and rubbed against it, set a kiss in the palm.

”I don’t need protected from you. I don’t want protected from you.” Laid her forehead against his. Settled her weight in her hands and knees so he didn’t have to support it. Fussed, just a little, at his pillows, his hurt arm. Wished she could whisk him away home. But there weren’t enough healers home. And Nyree wanted him to have all the healers. ”And I don’t want to be without you either.” Never again. Resolve hardening once more.

He would fight her.  But Nyree was willing to fight him. Fight for him. Kissed him again, gently this time. No bruising pressure. No hesitation either. Hers.

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2018, 10:12:47 AM »
Fingers tangling in her hair Enele let the oil of her scalp seep into his skin. The way she said his name warming his belly. Even as his chest chilled at her insistence that she was alright. That was what she always said. Letting himself believe her was so tempting. Especially with sweet words dripping like honey from lips he knew held that very flavor.

For now the promise of feeling better was more than the fear of hurting worse. He let his good hand glide down her side as she climbed back into the small infirmary bed. They would fit, he was sure, it was no smaller than her little bed back home. What he would give for his own, though, Mother Night!

”Mm,” He mumbled, looking for his voice again. Lost for words that could match hers. This was a bad idea. Worse than it had been before since now there was no excuse for giving in. He already knew how it was most likely to go. Catching her around the waist he met her eyes with a somber look. Not convinced that was love would be enough. Not sure about anything to be honest.

Nyree seemed sure though. Bodies slinking together so that she could make him lay back. After a second of stubborn resistance he gave in, but tried to drag her down with him. She was stubborn too. Too damn stubborn for her own good. Forehead to forehead he smothered a sigh behind his teeth. Turning his attention from her fussy words to her even fussier hands. Watched careful fingers on his arm. Pulled her a little closer. ”It’s alright, it’ll mend.” At least mostly, the healers had sworn. ”You can look at it, if you want. See it’s not so bad. Just bruised and sore.”

They had managed to close his gashes and cuts. Spending energy on aching muscles that would heal on their own was a waste. There were brews to keep the pain to a minimum. He didn’t want Nyree to see him injured and useless but it was too late for that. So he might as well show her it felt worse than it looked, or even actually was.

Certainly less damage than there could have been. He had been lucky. A more experienced opponent or darker jewel could have ended with im in a grave instead of a bed. He was never one to dwell on such morbid facts, though. Instead he returned her kiss. Letting his lips part over hers so he could taste what he’d been missing. Enele wasn’t well enough to stroke either of their fires, but he didn’t lack for passion. ”Mine.” He mumbled when they came up for air. The word less certain than it had once been but no less true to his heart.

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2018, 07:21:21 PM »

Nyree ease some of her weight onto him. Hips resting across his thighs, grateful for the arm drawing her closer. The hand that touched her. Soothed the worry she hadn’t even known was a possibility. It was alright though. He still loved her. But she didn’t want to see his arm, head shaking, lip sucked.

”I’ll look later. I’m sure its fine,” Nyree lied. Hoped it was fine. Not for herself, but for Enele. Too physical not to be fit. Hated seeing him like this, all the hurting. Body aching, heart troubled. Wounded by her. The guilt gnawed at her, but she was so very glad he hadn’t given up on her. Though he seemed to have given up on himself.

That Nyree was used to. Always fretting he was going to hurt her. She’d just have to show him, again, that the pain didn’t bother her any. But not now, sweet as his kiss was, mouth taking over hers so he could do the tasting. Nyree let him have whatever he liked, petting his neck. Careful of his head and shoulder. Probes checking for any other hurts as her weight settled over his middle too.

”Always,” she promised. That was a promise Nyree was sure she could keep. She didn’t want to be separated from him again. Not like this. For so long and so far. With so much strife and hurt between them. Wiggling, Nyree wedged herself between his side and his arm. Head pillowed on his ribs, leg draped over his thighs as her knee slid under his. Arm slipping under the small of his back, the other over his stomach.

Sighed, eyes closing. She had missed this place.

”Do you need anything?” She’d let the healers in if he did. Or one. One healer to see to his needs. But she wasn’t moving now that she was here. ”I’ll keep watch, while you sleep,” she offered. Not a promise she could make, knowing she might be able to keep it. Tired too. Smelling Enele and home beneath the stark scent of the sick room. ”Tomorrow you can tell me what you have been up to.”

Tell her who had to pay for what had been done to him.

Enele

    Rose to Opal
  • Warlord Prince
  • Played By: Jones

    Glacia Kaeleer
    216 Posts    126 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2018, 01:32:24 PM »
No then. He certainly wouldn’t make her look. With a soft chuckle he leaned back to see her face again. Mother Night he had missed it. Those slim brows over eyes that were are deep and mysterious as her barriers. All the expression in her sweet mouth instead. Even all these years later he could only guess as to what each twist and pucker meant. He wondered if she had really changed. Or if she had just gone away and punished herself the same way he had.

What could he do? There was no way for him to know for sure, she’d never let him in that way. He couldn’t turn his mind to those old insecurities now. It was too much.

The promise in her single word worming into his heart despite his better judgment. ”No.” He told her softly, ”No more promises or expectations. Mine right now is enough.” It was a reminder to himself, but a warning to Nyree. There was a string of recent failures behind him and he wouldn’t set them up for another. He just couldn’t live up to those expectations. Couldn’t stomach facing them either. No more forevers or alwayses. That was how they had hurt one another.

While Enele was busy with his thoughts she busied herself getting comfortable. Shifting knees bringing him back to the moment. Arms tightening their hold as she let her weight rest against him. Breath making a warm spot on the thin shirt he wore. Not his own but he hadn’t found time to care yet.

”Not right now. I’m alright.” Wasn’t sure he could sleep, either. Eyes heavy but spirit heavier. Maybe Irisviel would come around soon. He didn’t want to miss her. There were too many things he had to tell her. Not sure how many of his little messages had gotten through. Certain that none were enough. ”Keep watch from what?” He chuckled. Neither of them could keep the titan jeweled inhabits of this house from coming in. And if the healers wanted in, they would surely get help to do it. ”Sleep. And when we wake up you can write a letter for me.”

He closed his eyes, body still thrumming and humming though. Alert despite his missing Opal and weariness. ”Poor Tama’s probably planning our funerals by now.”

Nyree

    Yellow to Tiger Eye
  • Queen
  • Played By: dergon

    Glacia Kaeleer
    201 Posts    67 marks
Re: The long road
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2018, 07:28:24 AM »

Nyree hid her face against his side and nodded. Another rule. Another wall. At least she was still allowed touching. It had taken her years to wear that one down. And a bit of luck. Or a bit of rut. Something. She'd just have to build his trust in her up again. If he'd ever had any at all.

"Okay," she agreed, disagreeing, burrowing in closer as she did. Fingers tangling with his shirt, knuckles pressing the fabric between them and his skin. Heart heavy and slow in her chest at the thought of chasing him all over the Waoud again. Proving she wasn't a child. Wasn't broken. Wasn't a liar. Wondered if it would take as long as it had the first time, she had so much more to make up for this time.

Broken self and broken promises.

"Intruders." Mouth hard at his laughing. She'd forgotten what it was like to be laughed at. Teased the way Enele teased her. Not sure she believed him either, when he said he was alright. "People." Healers. Queens. Anyone they didn't want to come in. Anyone Nyree didn't want to let in or near him. Legs tightening around him. She didn't want to share, not a moment of his time or an inch of the space surrounding him.

Even if he hadn't been happy to see her. Even if he was keeping his barriers closed. It was okay, Nyree promised herself. It was his right. She'd sent him away.

"A letter?" Nyree questioned. To who? For why? "Oh." Tama. Another injured party in Nyree's bid for... what? Freedom? Independence? Something she couldn't remember now. The reason buried under the tidal wave of the emotions that had driven her. Not sure now that she'd found whatever she'd been looking for. Had a chance to do what she'd set out to do. "Of course." I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Pressed her face against him and held on tight. Buried all her pain and guilt. Knew she didn't have a right to them. Enele was hurt, and she was half to blame for it. Driving him away. Driving him to this.

"I love you," she told him again, instead of she was sorry. "I'm going to sleep now." Pretending she was until it was true. Breathing him in and thinking of better times. Of ways she could get those times back. Ways she could keep them good. Keep him.

 

Welcome to Witchlight

We are an AU Black Jewels RPG that is continuously expanding the world lore to truly make it our own. Come join us and play in our sandbox!

Open for over a year, we have 9 unique races, from birds to wolf-shifters. Feel free to drop into our Discord, lurk our wanted ads, and see if Witchlight is the fantasy site you should always have been looking for.

We have an RPG Rating of:

Timeline

SUMMER - AW103

The seasons will change on 4/19.

Recent Topics

Oh, its you by Peitar
[January 26, 2020, 06:16:38 PM]


Mountain Shadows by Valeska Spearfang
[December 16, 2019, 11:19:15 PM]


Wayward Seasons by Winter
[December 07, 2019, 08:14:04 AM]


Ianthe Sparrowhawke by The Darkness
[December 06, 2019, 06:46:32 PM]


Afternoon Snack by Aramis Dupuis
[November 20, 2019, 09:47:32 PM]

Chat

Guest Friendly Discord
login & choose a name, no registration required!

Wanted Spotlight

The Second
Eunuch | Open Jewels | Paon
Hand to the Mother Priestess

Rumor Mill

Credits

Witchlight is loosely based upon the Black Jewels Series by Anne Bishop though it has been adapted and expanded by our members. All lore, characters, and writing belongs to the members. Site graphics & custom codes were created by the staff. A special thanks to Wolf & Katarina for all their help with the planning of Witchlight and the writing of the base lore.

Community Awards Winner