I Must Confess

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Offline Marcos Perros

I Must Confess
« on: March 17, 2017, 03:40:43 PM »
Marcos Perros
don't let me die here
It was hard for Marcos to not do something with his hands as he headed towards Melaine. With the depth of his Jewels and their bond he could easily sense where she was. He had been in her Court long enough and now that she was the Territory Queen, she had a right to know exactly what he wore. Marcos had never told anyone about the Ebon Gray Jewel he wore, people were scared enough of his Red, but he knew this day would have come eventually, he had just hoped it would have been later rather than sooner.

Pulling his hands around his back, he clasped them, so that he wouldn't have play with them. The last thing he wanted was to appear nervous in front of her. The closer he got to her, the more he sensed through the bond, she seemed to be calm, which was good, but he also didn't sense anyone else around her. That was fairly rare, having a few heartbound males and her court, there always seemed to be someone around her.

As he reached her door, he stopped, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. He knew he was on edge, and depending on how this conversation went, being on edge would be the last thing he needed. Feeling at least somewhat calm, Marcos raised his hand and knocked on the door. When he heard her tell him to come in, he opened the door, letting himself in. He thought about putting a lock on the door, but thankfully he would be able to sense if anyone was coming, and it was her door so he would be in the wrong to lock in unless she asked. "Good Afternoon Lady" Although his words had a bit of an edge to them, but it was just his nerves coming through. "Do you have a minute to spare?" he watched her face trying to see what he should be preparing for.

Offline Melaine Callas

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2017, 08:41:54 PM »

The day had passed quietly so far, which was exactly what Melaine needed considering she had closed herself off in her office so that she could study all of the grievances that were going to be aired at the Areopagus meeting the following day. It wasnít something she necessarily needed to do as all cases would be heard by the Council before being discussed and decisions reached, but considering she was well aware of the fact that so many eyes would be on what she did or said, Laine wanted to be well‐prepared. She was the first Queen to have ruled Dharo for quite some time after all and there were many that had issues with the way she had been placed into power. Truth be told, she hadnít been thrilled with the way her family had handled it as she had certainly never wanted fighting to break out but when one pitted two families as old as the House of Callas and House of Lagana were, perhaps the fighting was inevitable... If anyone had stopped to ask her, Laine would have suggested simply waiting a few more years as they gathered more evidence as to why Delia Lagana was not a fit ruler so that they could bring it to the Areopagus once more and see if the vote could be swayed. She hadnít felt ready to take the territory seat after all and the time would have provided a chance to get better prepared.

There was a small part of her that wondered if perhaps she would have ever felt prepared though, considering there was so much weight upon her shoulders to be a true Callas Queen and so very many expectations that went with that. Would those have only grown if more time had been allowed to pass? It was something she would never know of course as that wasnít the path her family had chosen to go down and their actions had certainly brought a clearer divide between some of the Houses back into the limelight. The meetings of the Areopagus since power had changed hands had certainly been interesting as the Houses lobbied for things that would support their side even more ferociously than before and tried to squash anything that might benefit their enemies. It had left many issues unresolved when they were first brought to the Councilís attention though Melaine was working to make sure that eventually decisions were reached on all matters even if it meant bringing things up time and time again. It wasnít necessarily her fault, but she couldnít help but feel like it reflected poorly against her Court nonetheless when things were left unresolved.

Most of the grievances that were being aired the following day were minor enough that it didnít take long to get through the stack. A number of merchant complaints and issues between some of the lower Houses of the Aristoi as well as a few vandalism charges being brought against people that might have had a bit too much fun during Winsol, but that certainly wasnít unusual for this time of year. As soon as she finished reading the last piece of parchment in the stack, Laine stretched her stiff limbs and stood up from where she had been seated behind the desk in her study so that she could wander over to the windows that overlooked the private garden that she had grown to truly love walking in since coming to the territory seat. She had sometimes wondered if Delia Lagana had ever spent time out there, but considering the woman was a Priestess and not a Queen, she certainly wouldnít have felt the call of the land that Laine did.

She had been just about to head out the door that connected her study to the secluded garden, which was a large reason she had chosen that particular office for her own, when she felt Marcos heading towards her through the bond they shared. When she had first met him, the darkness of his jewels had certainly made her nervous if only because she had been young at the time and so very light jeweled herself. Over time though, the nerves had dissipated and she had grown use to the power that surrounded him. Perhaps it was the bond they had shared or perhaps it was simply because she had grown to know and trust him... though the bond had certainly forced her hand in that matter as she hadnít had much choice in letting him in considering they were already connected. It was something she had known with others before him of course, but the bond simply seemed stronger with him and she could only attribute that to the strength of his jewels in comparison to those of the others she was bound to.

Laine had known he was outside her door before he even knocked and could sense the nerves that seemed to be rolling off of him in waves though she had absolutely no idea what he would be nervous about. "Come in Prince," she called out when his knock had finally come. The nerves had told her that there was clearly something on his mind though his words didnít really enlighten her to what that might be. In the hopes of putting him more at ease, she decided to continue with what she had been planning before he arrived and simply asking him to come along. "I was just about to take a stroll through the garden but why donít you join me and tell me whatís on your mind," she responded as she held out her arm for him.

I nearly left the real me on a shelf

Offline Marcos Perros

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2017, 11:19:29 AM »
Marcos Perros
don't let me die here
Just seeing Melaine Marcos felt both anxious and relaxed. He knew that telling her about his Jewel would not be easy but being around Melaine seemed to calm him. Part of it he attributed to the bond, as that was when it started, but longer he was around her, the more of an effect she had on him. But the longer he was around Melaine the stronger his feelings got towards her, and he had no idea if it was the bond or not. This was all still new to him, and this was something he was not exactly comfortable going to someone else with, so for now he would have to struggle through it until he could figure it out. He knew she would be able to sense some of his emotions through the bond, just as he could feel hers, so he tried to calm himself. Not that it did much, he knew that the only thing that would make him feel better would be telling her the truth. Crossing the distance between them, Marcos took her arm, wanting to smile but he wasn't able too. "That sounds great, thank you." He nodded towards the door to her garden, waiting a moment before opening the door and leading her out. He knew he should say something, but he wasn't sure on what to say. There was plenty that he could say, but he was so caught up over what he wanted to say to her that anything else would have seemed fake to him, he didn't want to hide this from her for any longer.

He continued to walk until he spotted a bench. He led them to it, before asking her if she would like to sit. They were in a private area, about as private as they would get around here anyway, but still Marcos drew on his Red to create a sound shield around them. No one around had a Red Jewel, so he knew he didn't need to use his Ebon Gray. He dropped her arm, taking a small step away, running his hand along the side of his hand. He knew what he wanted to say, it was just crossing that barrier. "I need to tell you something..." he paused taking a deep breath before continuing."You know how I received a Red at my birthright ceremony... and I did, but at my offering I didn't walk away with a Red." He had started pacing slightly, but now he turned to look at her. She had gotten use to his Red Jewel eventually, and he had hopes that she would get use to the Ebon Gray, but he didn't know, and he wanted to see her reaction, whether it be good or bad. Raising his hand up to his neck, Marcos undid the necklace that was always there, pulling it out from under his shirt. At the bottom of the chain, was his Ebon Gray Jewel. Gathering the chain and Jewel he collected it in his hand, moving his arm slightly towards Melaine. He didn't want to force her to look at it, but saying it just felt weird. "I came away with a Ebon Gray. I never told anyone about it. My parents feared me even while I still wore the Red, and friends were rare to find, so when I saw the Ebon Gray I decided to hide it from everyone. I didn't want to loose any more friends or family, I was already a burden on them and I didn't want to make it harder on them. I know I should have told you, and there are no reasonable excuses for keeping this from you, but I didn't want you to fear me for my Jewels. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were my Queen, and from prior experiences, I feared that somehow knowing my true strength would make you fear me.". Marcos paused for a moment, keeping his arm slightly raised. "There is no excuse for lying to you, but I couldn't, can't stand the thought of not being at your side. I'm sorry Melaine, I am." He knew he had been rambling, but he couldn't help it, there was so much he wanted to say to her, but he had said everything he could for now, he only hoped she could forgive him.

@Melaine Callas

Offline Melaine Callas

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2017, 05:36:07 PM »

There was no doubt in her mind that there was something weighing on Marcos and not simply because they were bonded. She could see it in the way he held himself and the fact that not even the smallest of smiles appeared like it normally did when he took her arm. Whatever it was that was on his mind was surely the source of the nervous energy she was picking up from him and that almost worried her more than anything really. What could he be so nervous about that was affecting him so? Had something happened that she didn't know about? There were certainly a number of questions running through her mind at this point but she chose not to voice them. After all, Marcos clearly wanted to talk about whatever it was weighing upon his mind and Laine wasn't about to rush him. He would begin when he was ready and until then she would simply walk with him and hope that she could provide some sort of calming presence for him at the very least.

Melaine waited for him to lead the way when he was ready and walked quietly beside him, letting the scents of the garden surround her as the land spoke to her in ways that only a Queen could ever feel. This was the one place within the entire building that she could actually feel at home, that actually provided a calming presence for her and where she truly felt like herself, so it was of course her favorite place to spend time when she wasnít working. She could only hope that it would have some sort of calming effect on Marcos at the moment too, if only through the bond they shared. It wasnít hard to know when the Warlord Prince was finally ready to talk though, considering the fact that Melaine felt the aural shield snapping into place around them. It was the center of the garden, which meant they were furthest from any of the other rooms that bordered the private garden so it was pretty much as private as they could get. The fact that he then added extra precautions only confirmed her suspicions that whatever was on his mind was serious.

She nodded slightly when Marcos said that he needed to talk to her about something, as Laine had gathered from the way he had been acting since entering her study. She wasnít going to push him to continue however, knowing that he would when he was ready and instead simply settled herself upon the bench that had been one of her favorite spots and waited to see what words followed. Whatever she had been expecting, it certainly hadnít been what he started with. It wasnít until she heard him admit that he hadnít walked away from his Offering Ceremony with a Red that she even realized where this was going or why it seemed to be weighing upon him so much. He had always led people to believe that he had received no descent... he had led her to believe that...

When he pulled out the necklace that held his descent, Laine saw that it was in fact a Ebon-gray Jewel and though there was a part of her that understood why he had kept that hidden from people, but it didnít mean that she wasnít hurt by the fact that he had hidden it from her. They were bonded and had been for some time, yet he hadnít trusted her enough to even let her know instead of continuing to lie about the jewels that he wore. Without thinking about it, she strengthened the barriers between them so he couldnít feel just how hurt she was by his words as she looked down at her hands since she knew that it probably showed in her eyes as well.

Had he really thought she would fear him? She had never feared him, even if the darkness of his jewels might have made her a bit nervous in the beginning considering she was vastly lighter than him when they had met. Sheíd had no reason to ever fear him though, especially as the bond between them had continued to grow. She had however believed she could trust him and that was a belief that had now been shaken. "I understand your reasoning for wanting to keep something like that a secret Marcos..." but you should have told me. She couldnít say the last words though because then he would know just how hurt she felt at his admission. He hadnít been able to trust that she wouldnít turn him away if she knew the truth, that she wouldnít simply take it as another part of who he was considering the length of time that theyíd known each other.

I nearly left the real me on a shelf

Offline Marcos Perros

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2017, 06:44:01 PM »
Marcos Perros
don't let me die here

Even as she spoke the last of his words Marcos could tell that Melaine was upset, and her response only solidifed that. If felt as though she had wanted to same something else or more but had refrained. And he understood her position, had the situations been reversed he would have felt the same way.

The lack of any words she had hurt Marcos he knew he had damaged their relationship and it was entirely his fault, he just hoped that he could repair the damage. Putting the necklace back on Marcos hid his Jewel beneath his shirt once more before stepping towards her, squatting so he was closer to her eye level. Although he had broken her trust he feel incredibly guilty over it, she was still his Queen and even being close to her calmed him.

"I know that by keeping this from you I've probably lost your trust, but i hope you give me the chance to rebuild it. Before I wore the Ebon-Gray I watched people who I cared for walk away from me, scared. So when I met you and we bonded I couldn't bear the thought of not being at your side. I was worried you would fear me and turn me away. I know now that all those fears were unfounded, and I should have told you long ago.. I just didn't have the strength...I really am sorry. I understand if you can't forgive me right away, if at all.." He fought any urge to reach out amid touch her, as much as he knew that would soothe him even further, he had just lost her trust and he didn't want to push her. "I'll understand if you want me to leave..."


Offline Melaine Callas

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2017, 07:01:31 PM »

As she listened to the words that continued to tumble from Marcos' lips, Melaine wished that they didn't make as much sense as they did because it was hard to fault him for the logic behind why he had lied to her. It didn't make it hurt any less, but it was hard to hold his fear against him when it had been something that he'd experienced often before he had chosen to keep it from her. Perhaps that was why the anger wasn't there... if someone else had lied to her about something, she would have been angry after all but despite the fact that this was something rather big, she couldn't help but wonder what she would have done in his shoes.

Marcos was right when he said that he'd lost her trust because if he had been keeping something so big from her, what else had he been hiding or lying about? How could she trust him again now? The bond between them meant that she would give him a chance to earn it back though because it wasn't like she could cut him from her life... not that she really wanted to but that was beside the point. For a moment she wondered if she would have felt the same if it had been any of her other heart bound males or if she felt like this simply because it was Marcos, but that thought was quickly pushed from her mind.

"I..." she started before realizing that she wasn't even certain what she wanted to say at this point. She would give him a chance to rebuild what had just been broken between them but yet she couldn't bring herself to say those words. It almost felt as if she would be admitting something that she wasn't ready to admit to herself if she did... So instead she spoke the only other words that came to her mind. "I will just need some time."

It was the most honest thing Laine could say at the moment. She would need time and space to get over the hurt that she felt and to accept the fact that he was even darker than she had ever imagined him to be. There was a small part of her mind that knew it would be worthwhile to keep an Ebon-gray jeweled Warlord Prince around, if only for the security that it brought her, but that wasn't the part of her mind that was doing the thinking at the moment. Time would be the best thing he could give her right now because it would allow her to deal with everything he'd just thrown at her... as well as perhaps confront why she was so upset by the news.

I nearly left the real me on a shelf

Offline Marcos Perros

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2017, 07:14:45 PM »
Marcos Perros
don't let me die here

It was times like this where Marcos truly wished he couldn't feel what Melaine was feeling. He had never wished this before but even though he was sure she was trying to hide some of her feelings from him, there was still a trickle coming through the bond. But he was sure that she could also feel what he was feeling, even though she was trying to shield that from her as well. It was, in this case, a curse of their bond.

But he couldn't do anything about it, and focusing on that was not helping the situation. He had faced his actions, and now he had to deal with the consequences, no matter what they were. Marcos was glad that Melaine hadn't sent him away right away, he would take that as a good sign. It she wanted him gone, he had no doubts that she would have ordered him away. Maybe, just maybe they could work through this. It just seemed to be more of a waiting game than anything at this point.

Marcos took a small step away from Melaine, wanting to give her her space, he didn't want to seem overbearing. If it was just time she needed, he would give that to her. It may not be easy but he would do it. She was his Queen and he didn't want to loose her, and more than that, Marcos knew he was starting to care for her more than a Warlord Prince cared for his Queen. He was falling for her. There was no denying it anymore. Letting out a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding, Marcos clenched his fist at his side, if was hard to not reach out and touch her, he wanted the comfort of his Queen, but he didn't want to push her. "I understand." His words were quiet and soft. Looking up at her face, Marcos let his gaze sit there a moment before dropping his head "I will leave if you wish to be alone." He had said a lot and he wasn't sure if he was the person she wished to see right now.


Offline Melaine Callas

Re: I Must Confess
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2017, 07:27:41 PM »

It was strange, having so many barriers between her and Marcos that she could barely tell how he was feeling outside of body language, but in this moment it was exactly what Melaine needed. She didn't want to know how he was feeling because he had hurt her and she certainly didn't want him to know just how much. Some of it was likely trickling through their bond as she didn't know how to shut it down completely, but she hoped that most of it was.

The moment she asked for time, Laine watched him take a step back and despite how his lie of omission had made her feel, seeing that made her feel a touch bad. She might not be happy with him but she certainly didn't want to see him feel any worse than he already felt. Normally she would likely try to make him feel better, to soothe the hurt or the guilt that he felt and tell him that it was all okay, but she just couldn't right now. With time, she would forgive and they would be able to move forward... but not now and certainly not any time soon.

"That might be for the best," she replied, trying to keep her tone neutral to soften the blow. She wasn't certain whether it worked or not but Marcos excused himself at that point and she was left sitting alone in her garden though the peace she had been hoping for seemed to elude her now.


Fin

I nearly left the real me on a shelf
 

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